Meteor Garden
by Yami-kun
Summary: They both hated each other with a passion, but what happens when they're forced as partners for "Family Life"? Will this bring about new feelings for both pharaoh and CEO? (YY/S, hints of Y/J, H/O, T/M, R/B)
1. Shock

A/N: I don't own anything.  
  
I'm suppose to be working on two other fics right now, but I'm dumb enough to start a third one.it's just that I _needed_ to right this down before I go insane! (Oh wait.I am insane!^_^) Anyway, Happy Valentine's Day people! Now, you may continue reading^_^ (FYI: the entire thing's in Yami's point of view)  
  
Meteor Garden  
  
They say that when you wish upon a shooting star, it'll come true. In my case, it happened to be dozens of shooting stars, falling to Earth in bright streams of red, gold, and white. As I watched them fall and slowly die away against the night - one of Aibou's childhood rhymes returned to me.  
  
Star light, star bright  
  
First star I see tonight  
  
I wish I may, I wish I might  
  
Have this wish I wish tonight  
  
It may sound silly, yes, especially with a five-thousand-year old pharaoh saying it, but I feel as if something is missing from my life.something important.I feel.incomplete.  
  
Switching my gaze to the boy I swore to protect with my life, I smile longingly. Yugi doesn't know how lucky he is; he has friends, family, innocence, and most of all, love.  
  
For now, my charge is sound asleep, a peaceful smile pastured on his lips. He looks so calm, so happy.Ra, I would have given up everything I owned when I was pharaoh just to be like him for a day.  
  
I know I sound jealous, but it's the truth; I envy Yugi for his life. True, his friends are my friends (as least, that's what he told me, and I do consider them friends), but I crave for something more.Even back in Ancient Egypt, I never had the time for fun and games like all the other children; no.I just had to rule the entire land and punish people who wronged even the slightest bit. Responsibility found me at an early age - too early for my likings - and I learned that the only to deal with it was to accept it.  
  
The result? I pushed all my childhood dreams, all my kindness, and all my love to the depths of my mind, never to be unlocked again and became a cruel, heartless monarch. Now, those sentiments that I had confined comes back to haunt me.  
  
Hm.the meteor shower has stopped outside. I guess even magic can't last forever. Too bad I never got to make my wish.  
  
~*~  
  
Ra, are all the teachers stupid or what?! Yes, I know I'll get in trouble for insulting erudite beings that commit their lives to educating others, but guess what? I DON'T CARE!  
  
It's just not right! I, for one, am a dignified pharaoh (or ex- pharaoh, if you wish), and I refuse to play role in some silly "Family Unit". Yes, that's what the teacher calls it. "Family Unit" is suppose to teach us _teenagers_ (even though I'm about five millennia years old, but I guess THAT doesn't count) not to _court_ at such a young age, she said.  
  
"You'll be paired up with a partner who will act as your spouse," Ms. Masaki waved the oh-so-feared detention slips in front of her as a warning to anyone who dared to oppose. "Jobs will be assigned, as well as the role in the relationship and offspring."  
  
Doesn't sound so bad - wait.OFFSPRING?! Is the old hag delirious?! I refuse to sleep with anyone, let alone allow them to have my kid! In fact, I'm on the verge of mind crushing her right now, but on the other end of the puzzle's connection, Yugi seemed pretty excited about the whole thing.  
  
/Yami, this is going to be so fun, ne?/  
  
//Yes, aibou.whatever//  
  
Attempting to lighten my mood, my sweet, self-less hikari urged, /Oh, come on, Yami. It's a lot better than doing bookwork - /  
  
I'd rather do a twenty-page report on this than watch the horror become part of reality, but I let him continue.  
  
/---and maybe you'll get partnered up with someone you like/  
  
Oh, I highly doubt that, hikari. I don't like _anyone_ in this dump you call a classroom, besides you and our friends, of course.  
  
But just to make the kid happy, I agreed with a terse "hn", showing that, no, I don't appreciate the idea but will tolerate it.  
  
/Thanks, Yami!/  
  
Ms. Masaki is _so_ lucky I decided to spare her life.  
  
"The class will be divided in half," she announcement smartly (eh, yeah right), drawing an invisible line down the middle of the aisle. "One half will choose a slip from a box that will contains names of students on the other side; whosever name you pick will be your "spouse" for the rest of the week."  
  
Oh, goodie. I get to choose.  
  
(Maybe I can kill her when no one's looking.)  
  
Moans and groans rumbled around me (I guess not too many sane people are happy about this either) as the hated white box was passed around. When it came to Yugi's desk, I narrowed my eyes. Yugi's so-called "spouse" had better not hurt him, or else he/she will be eating out of a straw for the rest of their pitiful life (if they're lucky, that is).  
  
The boy reached in - with a little difficulty, I might add - and retrieved a neatly folded slip of paper. Those amethyst eyes were bounded with nervousness and a flickering curiosity as he darted a quick glance at me.  
  
Giving a rare smile, I mentally encouraged him.  
  
//It's alright, aibou. There's nothing to be afraid of//  
  
---because I'll be watching 24/7.  
  
But of course, I didn't add that.  
  
Nodding in thanks, Yugi unfolded the paper. Almost simultaneously, the anxiety at the end of our bound vanished and a grin blossomed on his face.  
  
//Well?// I ask telepathically, being seated a few rows back. //Who is it?//  
  
/Joey!/  
  
At least it's one of our friends, and I trust that Joey would never inflict harm upon Yugi. In fact, I had thought for a long time that they would make a good couple.  
  
//Good job. It's about time you two got together.// I smirk.  
  
A light blush crawled up the little one's cheeks. /Um.thanks, Yami.I think./  
  
The entire pairing thing went pretty well (no matter how much I hate to admit) - Tristan was partnered with Otogi; Mai and Tea; Ryou and Bakura (Ha! I'd like to see the tomb robber be a housewife!)  
  
Then there were some other couples whom I had not bothered to acknowledge since the first day I enrolled here. A bubbly brunette got paired up with an American, a redhead and a blonde.you get the idea. Overall, it became pretty boring.  
  
"Yami!"  
  
I must have zoned out, for after being thrown back to reality, I was kindly greeted with the scowling face of my "favorite" teacher, Ms. Masaki. Nearly screaming (due to her ugly face), I completely toppled over my chair and ended up falling ruthlessly on my bottom.  
  
"WHAT IS IT, YOU OLD HAG?!" I yell, then abruptly shut my mouth. Uh- oh. Let me tell you, it _really_ isn't a good idea to scream directly at a teacher, especially if you're also voicing some of your inner thoughts about him/her.  
  
For a moment, the entire class was silent, save for Ms. Masaki's labored breathing. A pencil fell, though its owner didn't dare pick it up and disrupt this awkward stillness. It was like the beginning of a dormant volcano, when the inhabitants around it were fooled into a state of reassurance; but eventually, the volcano will erupt with one ferocious bellow.  
  
"EXCUSE ME, MR. MOTOU?! WOULD YOU LIKE TO REPEAT THAT AGAIN?"  
  
Geez.I think my ear drums just exploded.How can anyone yell so loud???  
  
When I remained silent and kept my head down (as to escape the sin of staring into hell's face), the cursed teacher roared at me again because she was too dense to know that yes, I can hear her perfectly fine, and no, I do not want excessive attention.  
  
"ARE YOU LISTENING?! YOU NEED SOME MANNERS, YOUNG MAN! HOW WILL YOU BE ABLE TO SURVIVE IN THE REAL WORLD IF YOU DON'T CORRECT YOUR WRONGS---"  
  
I'm doing fine in the "real world", thank you very much.  
  
"---YOU WON'T HAVE A JOB---"  
  
Hey! I was pharaoh once!  
  
"---AND EVERYONE WOULD LOOK DOWN AT YOU WITH ABHORRENCE!"  
  
My daily locker of fan letters says otherwise, but continue.  
  
Ms. Masaki slammed a ruler down on my desk quite sharply, producing an acute ringing that heightened my discomfort of hearing even more. Glaring at me as if I were some despicable worm (though by doing so just created more wrinkles in her scrawny face), she scowled, "A week of detention. Now.CHOOSE A NAME FROM THE DAMNED BOX!"  
  
Hn.I thought teachers weren't suppose to swear.I wonder if anyone recorded that.  
  
Anyway, just to get the dried-up monkey (her new name.) off my back, I frown at the box and thrust my hand inside.  
  
Oh wow. There's nothing in here.  
  
Just when I was about to complain to her that the blasted box was dearth of names, something slid by my finger. (Aw.and I was hoping that I didn't have to do this.) Thanks to my sharp reflex, I manage to snatch it before it disappeared like the rest of its companions.  
  
Tugging the slip of paper out and staring as it with unrivaled disgust, I unfold it.and almost drop it.  
  
In big, black markers was the name "SETO KAIBA", printed flat in the middle in caps so that _no one_, especially me, can miss it. And I swear, the letters were smirking at me with their undiluted ebony lines.  
  
Someone must hate me up there.  
  
To make matter worse, Ms. Masaki orders everyone to get with their "partners", while flashing me that sly, mocking grin of hers. (She probably plotted the whole thing.May the Devouress claim her soul in the underworld.) Of course, I was forced to oblige and, muttering a string of Egyptian curses, coerced myself over to the hated one's desk.  
  
"What do you want, Mouto?"  
  
Why, hello to you too, _honey_.  
  
Replying in the same cold manner and determined not to wither under those piercing blue eyes, I shot back, "Shut up, Kaiba. I was cursed to be your partner."  
  
For a fleeting moment, the former priest's stoic exterior fell to surprise, disbelief, and plain annoyance. I couldn't help but chuckle, though; hey, it's not everyday that you see your rival's eyes widened, mouth agape.  
  
Throwing me the normal condescending glare (despite the fact that it had no effect on yours truly) in an attempt to cease my sniggering, Kaiba turned toward the teacher. "I can't work with this arrogant fool here."  
  
Excuse me? Speak for yourself, Kaiba.  
  
Ms. Masaki flinched visibly from both tone and façade, managing to stutter out, "B-but Kaiba-sama.h-he chose you."  
  
I was about to protest against that, but Kaiba beat me to it.  
  
"Apparently, he's brainless."  
  
Do you have to be so insulting.?  
  
"B-b-but."  
  
Geez, how can she be a teacher when she's afraid of her own student?  
  
Kaiba smirked and was about to respond when I cut in.  
  
"What's wrong, Kaiba? Can't take a challenge? Or are you afraid of the _brainless_ king of games?"  
  
Ra..._please_ don't tell me I just said that.  
  
Twin cobalt orbs flickered with shock as they snapped in my direction. But as quick as the stun came, it was replaced by the all-too- familiar flare of pride, determination, and arrogance.  
  
"You're on, Yami." A stoic smile appeared and vanished in a single instant. "But to make this a bit more exciting, why don't we make a deal?"  
  
"Fine. I've never backed down, anyway."  
  
"The first person who concedes will be at the other's every whim and will."  
  
I pause, a sudden image of myself sitting at Kaiba's feet with a dog suite on. "For how long?"  
  
"Just a week. Why? Is the great game king scared?"  
  
"No!" I snap, a tad too quickly. "I accept your conditions, Kaiba. We'll see who bows down to whom!"  
  
A glaring contest was born as we stared each other in the eye, trying to push the opposition down. I could practically _see_ the tension and electrifying crackle in the air, its color a clash of red and blue, each fighting to devour one another. And the fact that the egotistical ex-priest was so stubborn, we pretty much spent the rest of the day sending optical death messages.  
  
Oh, and did I mention that the class dropped to about zero decibel during that time? I'll never hear the end of it from a certain blonde.  
  
~*~  
  
Next time.  
  
* Roles are assigned and Yami's in for a big surprise.  
  
* Yami and Seto must "work together" to complete the average family's  
supplies worksheet 


	2. Supplies and more

A/N: No, I don't own YGO and I never will.Anyway, here's the next chapter (finally!) As always, it's all in Yami's point of view. Enjoy!^_^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
A river of white marble stretched before me, terrifyingly wide at the bottom and narrowing upward until it became a mere thread. Pots of rhododendrons and prim roses occupied the banisters in seemingly accurate intervals, their colors contrasting nicely with the clay vessels that held them. Behind, the ground was paved in a twister of yellow-gold bricks like the ones in "The Wizard of Oz" (yes, Aibou took the time to explain the _entire_ story to me.).  
  
Anyway, as I glanced up at my soon-to-be acquainted with path, I couldn't help but groan. Now, I know pharaohs don't whine, but, hey, I'll be the one suffering blisters on my feet from climbing two-hundred steps of stone!!! Geez, you'd think someone as rich as Kaiba could at least afford an elevator?!  
  
Oh yes. Kaiba. I don't know how he did it, but he managed to convince me to walk five miles to his house for the blasted "Family Life" project. So.here I am now, laboriously working my way up to his front door.  
  
At least it's not raining.  
  
Damn. Yes it is.  
  
I think someone _really_ hates me up there.Just a few minutes ago the sun was still out, for Ra's sake! Now.now the sky seemed to have turned over a new face, wearing a mask of melancholy and rage. Dark wisps of clouds churned amongst the gray billows, and - if you look closely - you can faintly see an angry old man with a beard of silver and cold black eyes.  
  
Thank you, sky, for sharing my pain, but you're not exactly helping at the moment.  
  
Now I remember why I had always hated the rain so much back in Egypt; it made you _wet_. And by wet I mean soaked to the bone, freezing cold, homeless-looking wet. To complicate matters even further, my outfit was clinging to my body like a second skin, the chilly water droplets seeping in with rapid speed. (Note to self: _Never_ wear leather in this miserable weather again)  
  
If I catch a cold, it's all _his_ fault.  
  
Speaking of which.the front door stood right before me.  
  
Excuse me.I meant "doors". There were not one, but _three_ sets of double doors, their gold-embroidered carvings distorted in the sheets of torrential rain. The flourishing calligraphy of "Kaiba Resident" glowed softly in the darkened sky, the slight daylight casting a sickle hue around the name.  
  
Hesitantly, I rested a finger on the dime-sized doorbell. Do I really want to work with this.bastard? Why am I even here? Why am I suffering through all these iniquitous punishments when I didn't even do anything? Why.  
  
In my frustration, my finger accidentally slipped and to my horror.the bell rang. Or could it be considered a bell? Strangely, it held a tune similar to that of Barney, its "I love you, you love me" melody drifting throughout the mansion in an eerie woodwind timbre.  
  
I was just about to make some snide remark about it (well, it's good blackmail!) when suddenly the double doors flew open to reveal none other than _him_.  
  
Hn. I had expected a butler with a collar around his neck, kneeling like an obedient dog before his master or something. (My theory is understandable; if that's the way Kaiba treats everyone else, then why not his servants?)  
  
Anyway, _he_ stared out me, arched a brow, then resumed to staring again. I grimaced under the impassive glance of those stoic blue eyes and returned my own glare. For a moment, the air was tightened with the rope of tension, and then, out of nowhere, he starts laughing! Laughing, out of all things!  
  
I frowned and was about to demand for an answer (he better have a damn good one!) when someone behind him caught my eye. Rivulets of water dripped down golden bangs.a crown of drooping red and black that now resembled an unhealthy fern.misted face plus clammy leather.  
  
Good Ra! That's me!  
  
So here I am, gaping at my own pitiful reflection in the hallway mirror while a certain CEO laughed his head off. By now Kaiba has tears trickling down his cheeks. I have never felt more of a freak in my life.  
  
"Y-You." he managed to choke out after subduing his uncontrollable and unjustified hilarity.  
  
"I what?" Narrowing my eyes, I prepared for the worst.  
  
"You look like a _girl_!"  
  
A _girl_. Not a porcupine, not a fern, but a _girl_. That's the worst insult I've ever received in my entire life (which would be a long five thousand years). Kaiba, you freakin' jerk, you better take that back! No one calls a pharaoh a girl! _No one_!!! At least I don't look like some.some bone-faulty little worm that doesn't get enough sleep!  
  
Unconsciously, I blurted the whole thing out, leaving a stunned brunette gawking at me.  
  
Um.oops?  
  
But as quick as it came, the look of surprise left Kaiba's face as the cold façade was pulled over. Cobalt eyes hardened as they surveyed me with inscrutable surveillance. Up above, the halogen light flickered briefly, sending a transient shadow across his face and swirling those sea- blue orbs to pools of black.  
  
For a moment, I thought he was going to kick me out the door or something. Still.it wasn't _me_ that started it! And it's raining outside! (All the more reason he'd kick me out.) Uh.somebody help? It's not exactly comfortable standing under a death glare all day, even if one did try to replicate it.  
  
Finally, Kaiba recited in a stoic tone, as if it had been practiced and used for too many times, "Down the hall, on your second right's the bathroom. Change your clothes and don't touch anything."  
  
I nodded mutely, grateful to leave his oh-richie-one's unnerving presence, when Kaiba spoke again.  
  
Brushing against my water-sodden shoulder, he smirked. "And Yami, worms don't have bones."  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
How embarrassing! Not only was I proven wrong, but was done so by _him_ of all people! Why, oh why, couldn't it have been Aibou or Joey or _someone_? Even that annoying little tomb robber would be better than Kaiba!  
  
Next time, it's thinking before talking for me. (Must remember that worms don't have bones.worms don't have bones.)  
  
Sighing, I peeled off the gauchely drenched leather and let them fall into an unruly pile of black mush. My skin felt clammy from the tightness of the outfit and the cool breeze from the air conditioning was not helping. (Who in the world would turn the air conditioning on when it's _raining_ outside?!) Shivering, I pulled my hair into a pigtail to squeeze the water out, then progressed to running a brush through it.  
  
I really hate to admit it, but Kaiba was right when he said I looked like a girl (but like I'd ever tell _him_ that!). Glaring at my reflection, I could not deny the truth: With blond bangs and crimson/black locks cascading down my back, I was just a bit too feminine.  
  
I hate my life.I seriously do. Not only am I named a freak by my long- time enemy, but I'm also genderless! You'd think the gods would at least make me complete, but no.I just had to be stuck in between!  
  
A sharp rap on the bathroom door snapped me out of my rumination. Must be one of the servants.  
  
Tossing a towel around my waist, I swung the door wide open, shivering as a gust of cold air swirled around my nearly nude body.  
  
Oh Ra. No.not again. This can't be happening to me.It _can't_. Why _him_? Why?! Amun, Horus, Toth, please, if you're up there.please, _please_ take me into the afterlife right now. I don't care if I end up in hell.but _please_ just get me away from here.  
  
Kaiba eyed me with his usual what-the-hell-do-you-want glare, then thrusted a pile of black and blue fabric forward. While he stared at me, I was still desperately hoping for some unrealistic miracle and denying his existence.  
  
"Here are your clothes. A maid will tend to your dampened attire."  
  
I took the clothes like some mindless idiot, a robot programmed to do the biding of his master. As I waited for him to leave so that I may change, I half expected him to make some snide remark about my _feminine _ appearance.  
  
But (surprisingly) he didn't. In fact, he didn't even flex a muscle; as if transformed into a stone statue, he continued to stare at me with unwavering steadiness. How lucky.a stone statue cannot be broken, cannot be humiliated, cannot feel.  
  
A heated blush threatened to burst on my face as I felt his eyes still linger on my bare body (exception to the towel). What? Haven't he ever seen a shirtless man before?! Or is he silently ridiculing me, and I'm too dense to see it?  
  
Coughing awkwardly, I strained to keep my voice even (well, it certainly wouldn't do to sound like a boiled chicken, now would it?). "Kaiba.excuse me while I change."  
  
A few seconds passed and when I was sure he hadn't heard my request, the stone figure grunted and retreated down the hall, his blue trench coat trailing after him, afloat on an invisible breeze.  
  
I heaved a sigh of utter relief and leaned against the door for support. How in the world are we ever going to complete this project if tensions are so damned high?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
The jeans sagged a bit as I pranced around the full-length mirror, straggling behind me and providing resistance to movement. And the shirt was.well, the shirt was a little _big_. Ok, ok, the black sweatshirt was about twice my size, concealing the entire upper contour of my body. The hem fell all the way down to my mid-thigh, and the sleeves hid my hands clear out of view.  
  
Everything's so _large_. But I suppose it's explicable, seeing these must be Kaiba's smallest size.  
  
Wait..rewind. Gaaaa!!! I'm wearing his clothes! _His_ clothes! I'll be cursed for life now! No!!!!!  
  
During my little ferment, I was unaware of the fact that a servant had entered the room to retrieve my wet clothes. Uh.this must be why she gave me a strange look and, carrying the wet leather in a laundry basket, walked away muttering about teenagers these days being on sugar-high. Hn, well, it's not everyday that you get to see a feminine-looking pharaoh pulling at his hair and mumbling Egyptian curses.  
  
Wandering aimless down the stairs in search of Kaiba (not that I care whether I find him or not.but we need to work on the project!), I unconsciously admired the large-scale paintings that hung about the beige walls.  
  
Soft fluorescent light cast an ethereal shine on the depicted battle scenes, making the soldiers seem to jump to life and show their mighty strength. The battlefield was alive in colors, different hues of red, blue, and silver dancing together in mad, livid swirls.  
  
I never knew that Kaiba was such a war-fanatic (or that he appreciated art).  
  
Nodding to myself, I continued to marvel at the artistic versions of life and death when a voice interrupted the moment.  
  
"In here."  
  
Kaiba.  
  
Indeed, on my left was the oh-so-formal businessman. The usual trench coat was neatly draped over the back of the leather chair, yet miraculously not touching the floor; the owner himself was seated, hands dancing away at the laptop's keyboard, pausing only briefly for contemplation. The yellowish glow from the screen reflected off his navy-blue (how typical.) business suite, enveloping him in a lambent golden glow.  
  
Crossing under the large arch that separated room from hall, I stopped a few feet in front of the great mahogany desk. Kaiba gestured for me to take the plastic chair (that I hadn't noticed before) beside me. I obliged, then waited for him to make the first move.  
  
Silence. That's all I received, save for the incessant tapping of computer keys and clicks. Great.I feel like I'm at an interview, being confronted by the world's sternest manager/CEO ever known to the world (I deem this true.slash the interview part). And if I fail to pass this test, my life will be utterly shattered to pieces and thrown out the office building.  
  
"Did you bring your papers?"  
  
I hadn't even realized that someone was talking to me until the person repeated the question more forcefully. So caught up was I in my little fantasy play that for a moment, I had interpreted the word "papers" for "resume". Thankfully, I bit back the response, "No, I left my resume at home, so could I make you wait while I run five miles back home in the rain to get it?"  
  
Instead, I inclined my head, indicating that, yes, my papers are all here. (As you can see, I'm refraining from talking as much as I can; I just hate humiliation, don't you?)  
  
For the first time since I entered the room, Kaiba looked at me and grunted. "Good. Take them out."  
  
Ok, now I _really_ feel like a mindless robot who obeys every single command. Somehow, I managed to extract the sheets from my pocket sparing only a sharp glare.  
  
The papers Ms. Masaki had assigned were slightly damp due to the rain, but it was still readable. Kaiba had already had his out on the desk (of course, _his_ was all nice and neat) and was surveying me intently again.  
  
I fidgeted vaguely under his gaze, suddenly finding my assignment _very_ fascinating. Doesn't he know that I know he's watching me? Or maybe he does know that I know? Or maybe he knows that.? Oh, forget it. Too confusing.  
  
"Let's start this," I mumbled, still eyeing my crumple assignment. "After all, that's why I came here in the first place."  
  
"Yes, yes," he nodded, _still_ studying me. (What's up?! Are we suppose to write a 100-page report about our partner or something?!) Then, reading the first question, "Your role in the family."  
  
Well, as it turned out, my paper decided that I should become a cute, loving housewife. A RA-DAMNED HOUSEWIFE!!! .I fear for my prestige.if word got out that I'm that _thing's_ wife (if only for a project) I'll commit suicide and hire someone to hack my body to pieces, burn them, and erase the name "Yami Mutou" from existence.  
  
I seriously will.  
  
I mean, even Kaiba got a decent job (a renowned lawyer). And I.Ra, I can't believe I'm actually reading these.I quote from my section: "A young, loving housewife who loves, cherishes, and practically worships her husband. She adores children, the color pink, and working around the house. Her infatuation.her husband."  
  
Ahem. _Excuse me_? Pink? I don't think so. And also, I, for one, am a dignified pharaoh and certainly will not do any form of housework unless it's for my Aibou or his grandfather.  
  
To top it all off, Kaiba had the nerve to smirk! If I weren't being restrained by my morals, he would be seeing black and blue for a couple of weeks now.  
  
"What's so funny, Kaiba?" I asked, though I knew perfectly well why. Narrowing my eyes, I attempted my best don't-get-me-mad-or-you-shall-regret- it look.  
  
But Kaiba, unaffected, simply wavered away my threat. "Oh nothing. I merely find it interesting that the king of games should be worshipping me."  
  
I growled, yet could not come up with a decent comeback.  
  
Still smirking and me glaring daggers at him, we proceeded to list the supplies we'd need, house, car, and all that other useless stuff. (Personally, I believe one should be satisfied with a roof over his head, plus bread, milk, and cheese. People are so selfish these days.)  
  
"I guess we'd need toothbrushes, toothpaste, clothes." I ticked off the items while Kaiba typed them into his computer, ".shoes, a bed."  
  
That was when I noticed he'd stopped typing.  
  
"What?" I asked, slightly unnerved at the queer look he was giving me.  
  
Holding my gaze, he repeated levelly, "_A_ bed?"  
  
Uh.I said that? I think now would be a good time to hire an assassin and meet Osiris in the underworld. And, I believe, my face just endured multiple shades of red and still going.  
  
"No!" I blurted out unceremoniously, almost jolting out of my chair. "I meant two beds!"  
  
Unfortunately, the thick-headed stone statue had already made up his mind.  
  
"Alright. One bed it is. King-sized."  
  
.You do realize that we'll be sharing the same bed, right?  
  
But I was too stupefied to even protest as I helplessly watched Kaiba continue the list. Just the mere thought of him and I under the same blanket drove shivers down my back. What if he tried to.  
  
No way! Kaiba _can't_ be interested in me! He's not gay (at least, not to my knowledge) and neither am I! Besides, we're enemies and enemies don't.y'know.hit it on with each other. Plus, I have the Millennium Puzzle for protection.  
  
The day's work is completed and I shall die of sheer mortification. We live in a one-story bungalow, drive a Lexus and a BMW, and HAVE A BED COMPLETE WITH SATIN! Why Kaiba had put that was beyond me (perhaps he had a thing for satin?), but does he realize what satin mean?  
  
Hn.there seems to be a lot I don't know about him.But then again, do I want to?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
YK: Er.crappy ending.I know.  
  
Yami: You can never expect much from a thirteen-year-old  
  
YK: Hey! I resent that! Thirteen-year-olds can write! (mumbles) I'm just sort of unintelligent and torpid, that's all.  
  
Yami: (completely ignoring YK) And YK had tried to write the whole thing in current-tense, but unfortunately she wasn't very bright, resulting in the chapter being changed to past-tense  
  
YK: (death glare) You shall suffer in the next chapter.  
  
Yami: x_x  
  
YK: Speaking of next chapter, here's a hint of what's going to be in it ^_^ And remember, please R&R!  
  
~*~  
  
Next chapter:  
  
*Children!!!  
  
*Yami slips on ice, only to be caught by.  
  
*The "family" is forced to go shopping  
  
*Flirt! Be careful Yami! 


	3. Ice plus Ignorance equals

A/N: I don't own YGO, Babies R Us, or the stuffed seal named Yuki (credit to whoever started the seal thing^_^)  
  
Yay! Now that Spring Break has started, I can dictate more time to my fanfics! *YK doing her happy-dance in the background* Ok, I'll be quiet now so you may start reading and not flame me for babbling on and on and on and on about pointless stuff ^_^  
  
Oh! One more thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There's this extremely funny site called "Area 51" at:  
  
http:// www.geocities.com/ area51newmexico/ page3.html  
  
(Remember to delete the spaces in the URL)  
  
Insanity ensues!!!!!!!!!!!!!!^_______^  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
A pair of sparkling amethyst eyes stared up at me, the harsh sickle school light reflecting off her porcelain skin, creating an ethereal image of perfection. I stared back, unconsciously twirling a strand of ebony hair that framed her childish face and admired the true form of beauty. Suddenly, the moment was shattered by the shrill (and annoying) cry of the bell. With a sigh, I lifted my daughter into my arms before settling into my seat.  
  
Yes, you heard me right - my daughter. No, excuse me; rather, it's mine and _Kaiba's_ daughter. Now, before you jump into any conclusions, it's not what you think it is! (Dear Ra..and I really hope your inference will never step into reality, if you're on the same boat I am right now..) First of all, my _daughter_ isn't even real. Surprised? Instead, she's one of those programmed computer dolls or whatever Aibou calls them. Androids..I believe. Now, I really must give credit to these humans of modern times; these plastic dolls can actually cry, laugh, and scream their heads off!  
  
Which reminds me..I don't think I was ever this much of a problem- child back in Egypt. From the few scattered pieces of memory I'd managed to catch, I remember myself as obedient, easily satisfied, and tamable conformist. If that's the case, then why in the world are my children exactly the opposite?!  
  
Allow me to clarify the case here: Ms. Masaki assigned each couple offspring according to the role of a die. Kaiba and I got 2 (I feel _so_ sorry for the pair that received a 6..) and were given twins - one boy, one girl. Ironically, the kids resemble their parents. For example, Kiara (the girl) had a river of black hair _streaked with red_ cascading right above her shoulders. And Kysen (the boy) was made complete with a crown of brown and gold. Oh yes, both had violet eyes, and I hate to say this, but crimson and cobalt makes violet.  
  
Why our artificial children resemble us so still baffles me, though I have a sneaky suspicion that the person who helped distribute the dolls (coughJoeycough) had something to do with it..  
  
Actually, I should have the right to say _my_ children because apparently, the father decided to abandon his family. After we received the miniature androids and were to move on to our next class, Kaiba had the nerve to thrust both kids into _my_ arms! I thought we were supposed to share the work..? (Oh wait..I don't think Mr. I'm-too-good-for-this is able to define the meaning of "share") All the other fathers are taking on responsibility! Look at Yugi and Joey; they only have a son but at least they're splitting the effort! Or Mai and Anzu! Even Bakura's helping Ryou with their two-year-old daughter, for goodness sake!  
  
I suppose it's just my luck to be stuck with the world's biggest bastard..Am I being punished for something I did as pharaoh?!  
  
My beautiful mooting was disrupted by a loud trill. Almost instantaneously, every head in the room turned in my direction. I felt a warm heat rising up to my cheeks, most likely making me look like a roasted flamingo.  
  
The English teacher jolted upwards about five feet in the air before sparing me one of her so-called censorious glares. "Mr. Mouto, I'd appreciate it if you could keep your son quiet. And I'm sure the rest of the class would like to continue learning."  
  
I shifted my gaze to the ground, not because of her frown or meaningless harangue, but instead to spare myself from having to endure the captured attention of thirty snickering students. Just when I thought the redness of my skin had propagated enough, the stupid teacher started a new lecture on how bad of a parent I'd make.  
  
"Do you realize now how difficult it is to be a teenage parent? It not only interferes with your studies, but also hinders your social and emotional status. Why, back in my days.."  
  
Thankfully, Kysen was still wailing away, giving me a chance to murmur a quick apology and rush him out of the classroom, escaping the heinous past of my teacher (excuse me..I believe that would be "loquacious" teacher). Kylara was left behind, sleeping peacefully in the embrace of my jacket; how she could manage to tune out all the lessons is beyond me..maybe some anti-school thing is installed in her..  
  
Anyway, as soon as I stepped out of the school (yes, the janitor kicked me out for disrupting the _empty_ hall), I was kindly greeted with an abundance of cold air. Better make that freezing. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around Kysen, hoping to transfer my own body heat to his temperature-sensitive skin. In a strange way, the motion reminded me of my mother - or rather, how much I seem to resemble her. A sudden flashback stole my vision, forcing me to watch the montage of voiceless scenes.  
  
(flashback)  
  
A little boy bounced on a woman's lap, gurgling with utmost happiness as she ruffled the unruly crown of crimson and black. The toddler cried out as he hugged his mother with the pure, child-like love, though no sound was instilled. Returning the embrace, the woman - the _queen_ - murmured something, the movements of her mouth giving way to what could be inferred to as, "Hush now, my little prince. It's time to get some rest. Tomorrow, we have to bear greetings to the arrival of Ra*."  
  
The prince's face crumpled slightly at the word "sleep", but obliged nevertheless, finding security in the arms of his mother. The Great Queen of Egypt** smiled almost repentantly as she tightened her arms around her only son, lips dancing to the lyrics of the last song the child will ever hear from her.  
  
(end flashback)  
  
"The comes a day  
  
When I shall leave  
  
This world, this place  
  
To join Osiris  
  
But remember this  
  
My little prince  
  
I'll love you always  
  
In my heart.."  
  
Something wet and salty trickled down my face as I sang the last verses of the song and remembered the horrific tale fate told later; the next day, the royal physician had pronounced my mother dead, her soul banished from her body by the rapidly spreading plague across Egypt. That night, the sky cried with agony, releasing miserable gusts of cold wind and tears.  
  
I emitted a half-strangled sob as I buried my head into the curls of Kysen's hair. How ironic that the current weather is so compatible with the one almost five thousand years ago..  
  
The gales continued its on-slant, biting and snapping at my skin as I tried to desperately shield Kysen's small body with my own and cease his cries of complaint. Rubbing soothing circles along the tiny, artificial back, I resumed the song my mother had once sung to me.  
  
But my heart wasn't in it. The revelation of my past left me distressed, anguished, and bitter; my entire body felt numb, like an empty shell, barely aware of the feral attacks of nature. Kysen's screams echoed in my ear as I mechanically patted his back, carrying the both of us up and down the frosted school grounds.  
  
So engrossed was I in my own grievances that I had failed to see the slippery, Ra-damned substance that hid beneath the snow: Ice. Before I even had the chance to register what the heck was going on, the ground seemed to come in at 50 mph, or perhaps even faster.  
  
Shutting my eyes, I tightened my hold around Kysen, using my arms as a shield for him and me.  
  
OhGod.We'refalling.We'regoingtohitthatfreakin'pieceoficeandKysen'sheadwillsh attertosmithereensansandSetowillkillbeforgettinghimanFonthisproject..  
  
But the expected impact never came. (And I spent all that time worrying over nothing!)  
  
Instead, a pair of strong arms held me firmly by my waist. Even with my eyes still closed, I felt myself being pulled to an upright position and, "You can look now."  
  
It wasn't the apathetic command that made my eyes shoot open; no, it was the familiar, condescending tone of none other than..Kaiba. So flabbergasted was I that I nearly dropped Kysen (keyword is "nearly"). I was about to retort when I realized that Kaiba still had his arms around my waist.  
  
Hoping that I was able to suppress the rising blush, I didn't bother to turn around and face him. Instead, I spoke to the invisible person in front of me, "Kaiba. What are you doing here? Should you be in class?"  
  
"No. Mr. Takyato gave me a pass so I can see my wife and children."  
  
I couldn't help but fidget slightly as Kaiba whispered in my ear, his warm breath tingling my own cool skin. As much as I hate to admit, it felt...good, like the soft caress of a summer breeze, which was quite contrary to the strange fluttering in my stomach I was also experiencing. And if I didn't know any better, I'd say he was actually enjoying this!  
  
Before I could reply, Kaiba untangled his arms, leaving me vulnerable to the chilly wind again. I hugged Kysen closer, anxious for any sort of warmth.  
  
"So.." I started, only to be interrupted by a close-up of a certain CEO's face staring at me _again_. Unnerved and faintly embarrassed (What? Do I have something on my face?), I mumbled, "Yeah?"  
  
Twin cobalt eyes seemed to study me with meticulous scrutiny, one that can only be accompanied by silence. I stared back, having half the mind to just run away from those piercing orbs, when he finally spoke.  
  
"Have you been crying?"  
  
I think I gawked at him or something. For the time being, there were just way too many emotions bombarding me. Is Kaiba, the cold-hearted Chair Executive Officer of the world's largest technology company, actually worried about me? Or is he just playing one of his sick games? How can he tell I'd been crying?! (I was sure the wind knocked the tears away...) _What am I going to say?!_  
  
Being the brilliant genius that I am, I stood there and looked like a complete idiot, waiting for the waves of unsolicited sensations to pass. My senses (or at least 30% of it) was returned when a hand lingered by my cheek.  
  
"Yes, you have," Kaiba answered, his facial expression still stoic, though I was sure I caught a faint glimmer of concern in those blue, blue eyes. (Nah..must of imagined it..No way would a creep like him care about his ultimate rival..)  
  
I shook my head and glanced away, but to no avail when he forcefully turned my chin around.  
  
He nodded, more to himself, I think. "Your face is flushed like a tomato and your eyes are slightly swollen."  
  
Wow. What a nice thing to say to your wife. Normally, I would have Mind Crushed or at least slapped anyone who said that, but with Kaiba's hand still cupping my face, I experienced a mind-blankage.  
  
The cognitive barrenness was worsened when he leaned closer, closer, until I could feel his warm breath on my skin. For a split second, I seemed to have separated from my physical form, focusing only on the advancing face before me. I suppose it was pure luck that my veins didn't erupt from over-pressure because my heart just got one heck of an energy boost. I mean, it _is_ my first kiss.. (I know what you're thinking; I was once pharaoh and had an entire harem, but trust me, I was a celibate back then..)  
  
"Kysen's stopped crying. You'd better get to class."  
  
And then he left. Just like that. One whisper and then walking away, leaving me with nothing more than anger, humiliation, and .dejection? Whoa, whoa, back up. I, for one, am _not_ upset that the jerk _didn't_ kiss me. Actually, that should be a good thing..right?  
  
Then why do I feel like a reject?  
  
Sighing, I patted Kysen one last time and made my way back into the classroom.  
  
~*~  
  
The gossamer petals drifted in delicate swirls outside, the December wind creating miniature blizzards on the ground. Shards of iridescent silver hung from naked branches - still, silent, yet sparkling with life. Winter was never present back in Egypt, at least not with the beautiful white scenario. Domino City was truly a bastion for pale exquisiteness.  
  
I continued to admire the moving panorama as the acute, incessant voice of Kaiba sounded from my left. Truthfully, I had no idea what he was yakking about; some ridiculous thing bordering the topic of "stocks" and "No, I will not sell it to you for half a million". Briefly, I wondered why I was here, in the same car - no, _limo_ - with him, and being totally ignored.  
  
Ah, yes. Shopping. Kiara and Kysen desperately needed some clothes and other supplies, especially since they recently discharged artificial urine. (Well, they most certainly can't wear spoiled diapers, now can they?)  
  
So here I am, hitching a ride with Kaiba to the Domino Mall, and he doesn't even acknowledge my existence. Sighing, I watched as my breath created an erratic film of fog on the cool car window, shrouding the beauty outside. For some strange, unexplainable reason, I felt..despondency..lament..and..lost. I don't know; I just feel lost, as if there's something waiting for me - something I have to attain - yet I don't even know what it is! It's like that night when the sky rained with those long, luminous streaks of fire; I was unnaturally pensive, staring blankly at the meteors, lost in my own world. I felt..incomplete; yes, that's an acceptable term: Incomplete. Sure, I have Yugi, my innocent light, but I need something _more_. I don't mean to sound selfish or anything, but it's just that.I don't know!  
  
Groaning softly, I turned my gaze to the young man (hey, I'm about 5000 years older!) still yelling into his cell phone, his flawless face scrunched up in annoyance. Locks of chestnut hair had fallen between his eyes, casting a slightly childish look. But looks can be deceiving, as those cobalt orbs were testimony to. Deep sea blue, hiding thousands of secrets under those murky waters, churning with competence, frustration, and an unknown force not to be reckoned with. The faint sunlight only ---  
  
Stop! Rewind! This is Kaiba we're talking about! Ra, I must be going insane to be describing so, uh, _poetically_, about my mortal enemy. In fact, I think I'm starting to become my identity in the silly "family unit" act: An airhead who's fetish is her husband.  
  
I believe I should be paying the mental institution a visit tomorrow..  
  
Meanwhile, my so-called husband (Ha! You wish!) was _still_ rambling away on that little device of his, this time altercating with the poor fellow on the other line about the debut for a new software program. I was about to remark that he should change his career to a telemarketer instead if he loves his phone so much, when a voice appeared from the speaker.  
  
"Mr. Kaiba? We've arrived at Domino City. Parking location: C-5, row 3, near the southwestern zone between JC Penny and Spencers. Current time: 3: 25 pm. Shall I start the recorder now?"  
  
Whoa..what a mouthful. I feel sorry for the driver who must have done this for a good part of his life.  
  
Kaiba had enough sense to actually pause the "imperative" conversation he was having and answer, "Yes, yes. This will take only thirty minutes. And don't forget to pick Mokuba up from his friend's house."  
  
"Of course, Mr. Kaiba."  
  
A soft beep terminated the exchange and the limo's automated door slid open. Kaiba stepped out and almost immediately started to walk briskly into the mall, apparently forgetting about his "wife". I was about to call him, but then decided it wasn't worth my time and scrambled out of the car instead, trailing after the oh-so-great-one like a puppy (.and that was Joey's title.I feel pathetic now.).  
  
This wasn't my first visit to the mall; Aibou and his friends came here all the time. The thing is, I've never been here around December. Bright stars were scattered everywhere, winking in spasmodic intervals and traversing across the ceiling and walls in colorful arrays of yellow, red, and green. And at the entrance, there was a massive structure sprouting branches and needles, its size almost rivaling one of Toth's temples back in Egypt.***  
  
I would have complimented some more if not for Kaiba walking straight through the scene like it was some kind of curse. Can't the guy at least appreciate a little joy in life?  
  
We stopped by this one stored called Babies' R Us (what a strange name..even I could come up with a better one!) - or rather, Kaiba stopped and I almost crashed into him. Guess I shouldn't expect forewarning from now on. Anyway, the saleslady took one look at us, gave a quick bow to "Kaiba-sama", and ignored me completely.  
  
I feel _so_ loved.  
  
My presence was disregarded even more so when she practically shoved me out of the way (as if I wasn't there) in an attempt to show Kaiba this _huge_ book of what her store had to offer. I swear, that red-head girl must have been talking at 70 mph, her fingers in synchronization with her mouth. Kaiba just sort of stared at the book , nodding once in a while to show that he was listening, though I doubt he cared for diaper colors or the number of baby food existing in the world.  
  
Me? Well, since the lady-person-baka seemed to have forgotten about Kaiba's "partner" (or did she even acknowledge me in the first place?) and because of my short stature, I could see nothing but the back of her ugly, purple and orange skirt. I didn't know whether to Mind Crush her or die of humiliation. Actually..there really was nothing to be embarrassed about SINCE I HAVE BEEN DEEMED INVISIBLE! But it sort of made me feel..lonesome. Back in Egypt, I had all the attention one could ever want.guess I kind of missed having people's awareness of me..  
  
Bored, and after an unsuccessful attempt at listening to the _very social_ employee, I wandered off. (Well, it's not like I'm going to waste _my_ time listening to gibberish!) Shelves beyond shelves of infant supplies towered over the beige tiles, giving the impression of metallic waves superimposed on a sandy beach. I couldn't help but chuckle at the sight of one of the toys - a stuffed seal.  
  
Mind you, it wasn't just an ordinary stuffed seal that babies usually drool all over. Oh no.this one was as white as virgin snow, with the daintiest pair of fins and whiskers. But what enraptured me most was its eyes; yes..those large, luminous brown eyes catching the store's fluorescent light at just the right angle, giving them an aura of mystery and kindness.  
  
In fact, the more I stared into those chocolate swirls, the more my Aibou's image came to mind. I know, I know, Yugi has violet eyes, but it's not the color I'm referring to; it's the virtue and innocuous that's being radiated.  
  
Unconsciously, I lifted the toy from its place on the shelf, softly stroking its untainted fur.  
  
"Like it?"  
  
I spun around, instantly recognizing it as _not_ Kaiba's. After all, I don't think Kaiba would use ..ah..the believed-to-be-sexy-but-isn't tone that was just exploited. Twin green orbs stared hungrily back at me, and I would have blushed when they racked up and down my body if I had not been so provoked at the time.  
  
"_What_?" I all but seethed. Hey, how would you like it if someone viewed you as a dessert?!  
  
The blonde delinquent smirked as he gestured at himself self- admiringly. "Hey, babe..chill. Now, why don't you put that little toy of yours down and come with me instead?" He winked and licked his lips. "I'm sure you're just as soft."  
  
Ok, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale - Dammit it! I'm going to kill him!!! The freakin' bastard..No one ever says that to a former- pharaoh! What?! Just because I'm wearing leather and metal doesn't mean _this_ type of behavior should be induced! Run away, mortal, before your soul gets a permanent trip to the Shadow Realm!  
  
I really would have done that if not for a tiny little problem: Yugi made me promise _never_ to use my Shadow magic any more and learned how to sense magic-usage through our link from Ryou. (Damn the tomb robber.why did he have to teach Ryou that?!)  
  
So, I settled for the old game king death-glare. ".Stay the _hell_ away."  
  
"Or what?" The jerk took another step closer, coercing me into retreating.  
  
"Or," I narrowed my eyes, trying to transmute all my inner rage into a more visual expression, "you will regret it. And I'm not joking, either."  
  
To my great frustration, the baka laughed! This time, taking several more steps forward, he crossed his arms and raised a crooked brow in mock- fright.  
  
"Ooo..I'm sooo scared. Is the sexy little punk going to give me a hicky?"  
  
..What in Ra's name is a hicky?! Of course, I didn't say that aloud. Instead, I withdrew my foot in an attempt to move back..only to hit something hard. A quick glance confirmed that it was a wall. Correction: it was the _corner_ of two walls, plus a shelf and cart on either side, reducing the chances of escape by a good 70%.  
  
I panicked. Shit! Why's the store so freakin' small?! And who the hell put those things there?! .Stop..calm down.let's see, I could make a break for it and push the cart out of the way..No. _He_ would catch me before I even reach it. Uh..  
  
The demented bastard grinned odiously as he drank in my obvious attempt at finding an escape route. So lost was I in my frenzy of thoughts that it was too late when my arms were pinned above my head - harshly.  
  
Not good. Definitely not good.  
  
The overpowering scent of cheap cologne wafted up my nostrils as the moron leaned in, his face almost skimming over mine. (Ra, I think I'll either die of suffocation or claustrophobia.) A hand held my chin firmly in place as the distance between us grew smaller and smaller..  
  
A wave of peristalsis crashed in me as I tried desperately to free my hands. No luck. Unfortunately, brute strength was _not_ one of my best qualities. But that's not the point; my first kiss is going to be from an imbecile! And I can't even use Mind Crush to defend myself!  
  
I watched in horror as the other's lips were only inches away from mine, a feeling of repulsion and fear churning in the pit of my stomach..  
  
Suddenly, by some godly miracle, my hands fell limply to my side as those pair of hideous lips flew backwards, its owner landing in a messy heap on the floor. I was so overwhelmed with surprise and relief that I would have kissed whoever intercepted that.  
  
"Hands off."  
  
..Oh no..Please don't tell me.. To my second devastating surprise of the day, I found myself staring at the one and only..Seto Kaiba.  
  
I don't believe Kaiba noticed my wild look; currently, he's occupying himself by scowling at the idiot who tried to rape me. Why he even bothered to help his lifetime nemesis was a mystery..perhaps only to fulfill his duty for this family project? But then again, his role hadn't specifically instructed him to protect the "woman" of the household..so why..?  
  
Meanwhile, the idiot had gotten to his feet. A dark mauve blotch had resided in his left cheek (serves him right..) as irate emerald met calm cerulean.  
  
"And who the hell might you be..?!"  
  
But a sharp glare from Kaiba ended his sputtering. Wordlessly, the moron sulked away, though not before remitting one last scowl.  
  
I presume I must have still been in my state of shock at that time, for a question had been directed towards me several times, followed by an irritated face.  
  
"Yami, for the third time, are you alright?"  
  
Huh? Oh..  
  
I nodded mutely, letting my game face surface. The worst thing that could ever happen was to show my emotions to an enemy and reveal how truly weak I was. Even though the incident was over, I was still trembling inside. Sure, I'm received plenty of lust-filled looks from people..but none had ever come this far before.. What would have happened if Kaiba hadn't intervened?  
  
I shuddered and pushed the horrific culmination out of my mind.  
  
"Yes, thank you, Kaiba." Somehow, my voice remained steady and apathetic. "I'm perfectly fine."  
  
Cobalt eyes narrowed slightly, and for a moment, I was frozen under the stare. It was as if he was reading my thoughts, gazing into my eyes and prodding at my innermost secrets.  
  
Suddenly, just when I when I was about to give in to the urge of running away, Kaiba walked over to the toy shelf and picked up the seal I hadn't realize I'd dropped. A questioning and slightly amused brow arched at me.  
  
I blushed, hesitant as to whether or not to confess. Yes, I admit the seal's cute and all, but to tell Kaiba that was just so.._wrong_. Besides, he'll probably laugh that haughty laughter of his and blackmail me.  
  
Much to my surprise, Kaiba took the seal and headed towards the cashier. Curious, I followed, eyeing the little toy with puzzlement. What? Does _he_ want it? But the idea of the oh-so-feared CEO hugging a stuffed animal did not seem very plausible.  
  
Still stuck in my foolish vagaries, I nearly collided into a blue trench coat ahead. Startled and on the verge of apologizing, I (thankfully) managed to stop myself when I realized it was none other than Kaiba.  
  
The brunette wore his usual silent demeanor, and as he turned his back to me, I felt something being dropped into my arms. Something white, downy, and with twin molten chocolate swirls.  
  
The seal.  
  
I must have stood there, gaping at Kaiba as his jacket billowed after him in the intangible breeze, caught between embarrassment, curiosity, and..perhaps even a growing gratitude. Why the cold, stoic man bought the toy - and for me, of all people - was an enigma that'll never be solved. Maybe it was his way of giving me his condolence after what had happened? Or maybe this is just a ploy to keep me off my guard? Or maybe..  
  
I hesitated and climbed into the waiting limo.  
  
..Kaiba's changing for the best?  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
*Ra as in the sun rising..not the god Ra ^_^  
  
**The Great Queen of Egypt is the main queen, in this case Yami's mother  
  
***Toth is the god of writing in Ancient Egypt  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
NEXT TIME...  
  
-Yami attempts to cook  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
YK: I officially declare that I suck!  
  
Yami: Yes..you do  
  
YK: No, really.. *points up* I mean, look at all that unworthy, pitiful stuff I wrote.. *sighs* My career is definitely _not_ an authoress..  
  
Yami: Don't worry. You have my agreement. But I think your problem is that you can't write in first person  
  
YK: ..Thus, *bows to readers* I'm terribly sorry if the entire thing was pointless, confusing, and just plain bad. If you have any suggestions on how to improve this first-person narrative thing, then please feel free to tell me! Arigatou!  
  
Yami: And don't forget to R&R ^_^ 


	4. Pizza and Ramen

A/N: I don't own Yugioh.  
  
Many apologies to those of you who have been waiting for this chapter. I thank you for your patience^_^ Unfortunately, this chappie's kinda short (only about six pages), but I promise to lengthen the next one. Oh, and lately, I've been a Kingdom Hearts fan^_^ *yells to the world* Riku and Sora are the cutest couple ever!!! *gets trampled by riot of fan girls who have slightly different opinions*  
  
BTW, I made slight alternations to the first three chapters….nothing big, just some rewording and spelling^_^  
  
Thank you, Borath, for the notice about the huge paragraph incident^_^  
  
~*~  
  
METEOR GARDEN  
  
~*~  
  
Pharaohs were the all powerful, supreme rulers of the Egyptians, ne? They were even considered living gods, and the people fell to their every whim and will. In exchange, the rulers would offer the citizens protection, interpretations from the gods, and flourish Egypt. Yes….that was the life I had. Mind you, it wasn't easy, but at least I didn't have to play the role of a drudge and _COOK_!  
  
My stupid "husband" is forcing me to prepare his stupid food in the stupid kitchen, using a stupid cook book salvaged from a stupid trash can! And before you ask, my favorite word is "stupid"! Why? It could be due to the possibility that I used to lead a glamorous life as a monarch with servants cowering at my feet. Nah….I'm _sure_ that's not it. Nope. What a silly, implausible thought.  
  
OF COURSE THAT'S THE REASON!!!  
  
I, for one, refuse to be ordered around! If it was my aibou asking me to cook, then I indubitably would. But this is Kaiba – the mean, old Grinch made of the strongest alloy ever discovered!  
  
Here's an account of the iniquitous, Ra-damned situation:  
  
We were returning home from the horrendous shopping incident (by which I was ignored, then nearly raped), with Kaiba was still nattering away on his cell phone. Now, I know this is lame, but if he likes it so much, then why don't he just divorce me and marry _it_? Anyway, before I even had time to settle myself into a chair for some well deserved rest, he so kindly bereft me of that pleasure. One cold glance, a pause on the phone, and "Make dinner."  
  
Excuse me? I'm not sure I heard correctly. Thus, I stood, hunched between a sitting and standing position, staring at him. Let me tell you, the shock was overwhelming. Never in the five millennia of my life have I been ordered to do something so mediocre, so demeaning, so….abominable! It was as if someone took one of those loony toon hammers and whacked me on the head with so great a force that I shot through the ground and surfaced, not in China, but in Pluto! And the injuries weren't something you can heal in a hospital or by those cartoon miracles; how would you mend a damaged pride, hn? How would you banish humiliation? Ah, I see you have no answer.  
  
When he realized I made no action whatsoever to carry out his command, the ubiquitous frown deepened. I watched with vacant curiosity as he walked briskly to his laptop, and – with one hand – keyed in a few words. Then, with an aloof expression, turned the screen in my direction.   
  
  
  
I believe the hammer just took another good whack.  
  
  
  
On the screen, in big, bold letters read: Make dinner. It's your job as a housewife, is it not? Be thankful I'm not making you wear a pink, frilly apron (though I'm tempted to).   
  
Do I detect a sense of humor or a nefarious threat?  
  
  
  
Still wedged between the dimensions of shock and wrath, my body idly staggered toward the kitchen, thanks to Kaiba dragging me (painfully) up by the shoulder and chucking me like some worn-out toy. (Dear Ra….that did _not_ sound right…..)  
  
  
  
End of the story. Satisfied? You should be, for I am currently standing in the middle of the so-called kitchen that's larger than my bedroom, surrounded by half a dozen appliances that I never knew even existed.   
  
  
  
And, of course, the sullied cookbook I rescued from the garbage can stood beside me. Yep, so desperate was I that the great king of games had to dig through spoiled eggs and putrefying banana peels in hopes of finding salvation in cooking.   
  
  
  
Circumscribing myself between two counters, I twitched my nose in disgust at the putrid stench the book emitted. Attempting to inhale as little as possible, though I could have sworn my face was turning purple, I turned to a random page.   
  
  
  
I hope this doesn't make me effeminate, but ew….I have chocolate pudding (or some sort of brown stuff) on my fingers. _Gross_!   
  
  
  
Wiping the glop briskly on the edge of the counter, a sigh escaped me as I scanned the directions:  
  
(1) MALAYSIAN OMELET (Telurdadar Biasa)  
  
Malaysians serve this omelet in thin wedges.  
  
2 C. mixed thinly sliced eggplant,  
  
    green bell pepper and onion  
  
1 T. peanut oil  
  
1 medium onion, minced  
  
1 green chile, seeded and finely chopped (about 1 T.)  
  
1 red chile, seeded and finely chopped (about 1 T.)  
  
1 clove garlic, minced  
  
2 T. peanut oil  
  
4 eggs, beaten  
  
1/4 tsp. salt  
  
1/4 tsp. pepper  
  
Cook 2 cups vegetables in 1 tablespoon oil until tender; reserve. Cook chopped onion, chiles and garlic in 2 tablespoons oil in 10-inch skillet until tender. Mix eggs, salt and pepper; pour into skillet. Cover and cook over low heat until eggs are set and light brown on bottom, about 8 minutes. Cut eggs into wedges; spoon reserved vegetable mixture over omelet. Yields 4 servings.  
  
I'm pretty sure I got lost after the word "omelet"…. Truthfully, I've never even heard of half these….these…._ingredients_. For instance, peanut oil – why the heck would peanut have oil?! Peanuts are nuts, for Ra's sake (hence the word "nut" in it)! Does the idiot who wrote this recipe realize how _long_ it'll take me to extract the oil (if any) out of the kitchen's eighteen jars of peanuts?! Geez….and the world was said to be modernized….  
  
In the end, I managed to unearth a crumpled bag of Instant Noodles from under the sink. How it got there is still a mystery, but as least it's edible, right? I sure Kaiba won't mind the blankets of cobweb on the packaging….   
  
I really should have given my royal cooks a lot more credit back in Ancient Egypt. Their arduous task should be recognized and rewarded….especially since they spent so much time bustling in the kitchen, preparing the glamorous royal meals. Why, I still recall the scrumptious wild geese we had every other day, and the dishes of mango pudding pinched with spices all the way from the Far East….  
  
I digress.  
  
The point is, if my cooks can make something so exceptional, then I – as their pharaoh – should be at least half as good. How false that theory is. I swear, I read the instructions on the back of the package! I did! I really did! You _have_ to believe me!  
  
You do, you say?  
  
Well then….I appreciate your trust in me (no matter how shallow it is)….but why the hell is the noodle on fire?! Even with my inexperience, I know full well that red flickering flames are _not_ supposed to be dancing on ramen, let alone in the foam container.   
  
I must have looked like a circus elephant balancing on a ball (though I'm sure the elephant is far more graceful) when I attempted to smother the fire. Grabbing the first thing I saw (which happened to be a pot lid), I slammed it down on top of the noodles. This caused a chain reaction: the metal lid tore the container into an array of uneven strips, the ramen slithered down the marble counter, the soup flooded the ground in a sickle waterfall, and my sleeve caught on fire.  
  
You heard right….one of those impish, insubordinate red fingers latched onto my jacket and spread like a soy sauce stain would on leather. I think I must have screamed, because Kaiba barged into the kitchen, gave me a once over, tore the now-existence fire extinguisher off the wall and put out the fire.  
  
And drenching me in the process.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
It was not a question, but a demand. I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I surveyed the confusion. A urine-like substance inundated the white tiled floor, and not about to ebb away too soon; scorched black cords hung from the counter like those millipedes I saw on the nature channel.  
  
Oh, and my sleeve jacket was fried to a crisp (testified by layers of dark scabs).  
  
"I, um, I was….," I mumbled the last part, "trying to make noodles."   
  
How humiliating….the great king of games lost for words, and to his rival, too! If that blonde Joey or the obnoxious tomb robber hears of this….my life will be worse than living hell (as if it isn't already…..)!  
  
Cobalt eyes flickered with brief amusement before the usual impassive business man settled in. "Apparently, you can't cook."  
  
Way a go, Einstein. Did you just figure that out?  
  
As if he heard my little inner comment, Kaiba added, "Of course, this should be expected from someone who's never lifted a finger."  
  
I blushed as twin brows arched pointedly at me, but before I could make a protest, the oh-so-renowned cell phone popped out. Without a second glance at me, Kaiba punched in some rapid digits. I watched anxiously as a soft ring hummed through the air, half wondering if my "husband" was going to turn me in for destroying his kitchen. Or killing him by the means of burnt ramen. Or for being an inept cook.  
  
My worries were confirmed – rather, not confirmed – by the curt sentence that shot of out Kaiba's mouth. "I need a large pizza with everything except mushrooms sent to the Kaiba residence." And then the call was terminated with a sounding snap as the phone was tucked away.  
  
I was about to mock my partner on his wonderful manners (What? No 'please' or 'thank you'?") when the word "large" made itself known. It didn't seem likely that Kaiba would devour the _entire_ pizza by himself, with his lean….er, scrawny….figure and all….so, perhaps he's willing to share?  
  
Clinging to that wisp of hope and praying to evade starvation, I did the only thing appropriate for the moment: clean the river of yellow and black mess. And although this was a huge dent in my pride, I found it better than to stare at the ground under a certain someone's glare.  
  
So with that said, I grasped the nearest sponge and prepared to attack the urine-noodle concoction.   
  
Except I never even had the chance to make a battle cry. Before the sponge could be stained, my hand was caught in midair by none other than Kaiba.  
  
At my questioning look, he grunted, "Leave it. The maids will clean it up."  
  
"Oh." It wasn't the most intelligent thing I've said, but then again, what possible response was there?  
  
He's still holding my hand.  
  
For a moment, my body seemed to have entered a malfunction state as Kaiba's long fingers clasped around my own. It was quite strange, actually. I had never expected someone as….aggressive (to put it lightly) as Kaiba to have such soft skin. Tissue soft. Baby soft. Those pale digits contrasted sharply against my dark tan ones, yet still gave the colors a calm aura, kind of like the abstract art in Domino's art museum. Meanwhile, the sponge sat quite contently between our palms as it publicized its joy with emotional tears.  
  
The cool droplets from the inorganic object rolled down my arm, snapping my attention away from the sudden musings. Just as I opened my mouth to ask exactly why my hand was still seized, Kaiba immediately dropped it and turned away. The sponge fell to the ground none too kindly, voicing its pain with a loud 'splat!'  
  
I watched, confused, as the brunette retreated out the kitchen door. It's probably my wild paranoia and imagination at work, but somehow, I don't think Kaiba would have held just anyone's hand.  
  
~*~  
  
The pizza came rather early – that, or my biological clock's due for a check up. After the hand holding incident, Kaiba and I seated ourselves at opposite ends of the table, unwilling to be conversational whatsoever. Well, the first part would have been true if the table hadn't been so ridiculously large. Really, how pragmatic is a twenty-foot long piece of wood in the middle of a room? Don't people realize that some diners may want to avoid other occupants at the table with desperate need, but still be in reach of the holy, sustaining thing called "food"? Obviously not. Or else I wouldn't be sitting six feet next to the only other person here.  
  
A long time ago, I use to think that having short limbs gave me more agility, granted that there'd be no hindrance of clumsy, lengthy body parts. But now, I wish for my arms to be just a _tad_ longer so that I may reach the pizza box with as little contact with Kaiba as possible.  
  
I don't know why….I was never this withdrawn, this reticent, this _shy_ around my rival. I have a sneaky suspicion the brief touch of hands had something to do with this, but it was simply a gesture for me to stop cleaning. Maybe the reaction was drawn from the fact that Kaiba touched me willingly? Of course, I could be wrong and most likely am; Kaiba – CEO of a multi-billion corporation – softening at the sight of his long-time adversary who he expresses the most enmity for? Right….you get my point.  
  
Sighing inwardly (since sighing aloud would be considered bad table manners and gain attention), I bit into the everything-but-mushroom pizza. Funny….I never knew Kaiba had a dislike for mushrooms; personally, I think they're alright, though you wouldn't find them at the top of my food chain.  
  
It's just like me to notice these little, irrelevant details. I highly doubt anyone, including Kaiba himself, would care if the CEO frowned upon mushrooms. As I swallowed and opened my mouth for another bite, yet another extraneous feature caught my attention: Kaiba had a smudge of sauce on the corner of his mouth. No, really, I'm not joking. The red paste just clung there, blending in with the rose colored lips. It was very enticing, the sauce or the lips, I'm not quite sure. Hold up….it must be the sauce since I'd need to see a therapist if I (or anyone, for that matter) found anything of Kaiba remotely attractive.  
  
The tomato concoction still hung stubbornly to the other's pale skin. Soundlessly, it was laughing at me, crying out, "I'm closer to Kaiba than you are!" Well, guess what, you man-made, undeserving, red mush. I don't want to be near that arrogant bastard anyway!   
  
And I must have some serious brain problems if I'm arguing with an unanimated object.  
  
But it's just so frustrating to have that drip of red stare at you! Sure, I could look away and mind my own pizza, all the while indirectly admitting defeat to the sauce for not being able to retaliate for its taunts. Or I could take a napkin and wipe that silly paste out of existence and save my breath.  
  
Kaiba fixed me with an odd stare, and for a moment I thought he had overheard my plan for sauce annihilation. When his gaze didn't waver, I asked, "What?"  
  
"Why did you do that?"  
  
"Do what?" Besides threaten tomato sauce.  
  
Cobalt eyes practically opened a portal to Antarctica at that question, as if whatever I did was the most obvious thing in the world and I was just playing dumb. Instead of answering, Kaiba glanced at my hand. Following his gaze, I found….oh.  
  
Wadded up in the center of my palm was a tissue. No, that's not the disturbing part. It was the red stain _on_ the tissue that created the shock. I blushed and suddenly found my plate very interesting; this wasn't the first time my body has betrayed me.  
  
When Kaiba didn't receive an explanation, he simply returned to devouring the rest of the pie. This lack of demand for reasons left me slightly bewildered; you'd think someone as persistent as a CEO would chase you to no end until his curiosity's been satiated.  
  
Shrugging and silently thanking whatever god for this streak of luck, I deemed it best to continue on with dinner.  
  
~*~  
  
(1) The omelet recipe was from a web page (URL forgotten….gomen); I do not own it.  
  
~*~  
  
YK: Sorry the chapter's short….I guess it'd be considered half a chapter. *promises the next chappie will be twice as long* The next scene just didn't seem to fit in with the pizza plot….Oh, and about the whole pizza and sauce thing. This was never in the original plan; I just added it in for fun^_^   
  
~*~  
  
Next time:  
  
-Yami is forced to learn the waltz  
  
-Seto takes Yami out for dinner^_^  
  
-New character makes an entrance (guess who!)  
  
-More intimate moments :) 


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